Rehab #6

Whew!! That was a workout!!
Today we really worked on balance . Oh gotta love the balance beam cushions.
I was able to eek it out and to it but man..I am worried about falling through the whole process.
But I did it. Its was all about balance today.
Then I had to laugh he added something new. If your balance is good then its a piece of cake. I wish I had a video cam cause it was hilarious.
You take this ball..if you look at its light. But you lift it and its not. Not sure how much it weights but I have to stand on my bad foot and throw this ball at the center of this tramp and it comes back at ya kinda fast. You kinda gotta do it to get the feel of it . First its a good foot on the toes and you work up to one foot. I had to laugh cause it was funny at first. But I got the job done.
Then on to the recumbent stepper. I would love to have one of these at home its one thing thats really help strengthen the ligaments and tendon process. But they are not cheap..but well worth it.
Then the kicker of the day is a different form of stepper standing. Thats when I realized I have a ways to go. I only eeked out 30 of the 50 he wanted. It was painful however he said do not push past the pain level of 4. Not a good thing to do so on this machine.
Then we went on working on something we don’t think about when we injure a foot and thats limping.
Man am I. So its retraining you body and your mind to not do it. Which is a really interesting concept.
So I had to learn this one excercise to do at home as well and thats almost a march with
the good foot and balancing with the good foot. Dam that wasn’t easy. I had to laugh cause now if they see me limping they are saying…
No limping! Which is so aggrivating but for my own good…If I want to get up and be walking faster.
Then it was on to the treadmill. He is a monster after all of that he wanted 7 minutes on the treadmill and no limping. He is a hawkeye to.
But I did okay and made it through.
Then on to the the massage ultra sound. That is to stimulate healing of the ligaments and tendons. Which really helps.
The pain is not as intense but still there so we are working to a better point on that as well.
Its not how much you do its how you do it.
So today was a successful day.
I feel good about what was achomplished.
So we will see how it goes and keep on working at it.

Oh and the Stepper is a great place to do your morning meditations and prayers.
With that in mind I know the power of God and he will see me though to a better place.
Inch By Inch It’s a Cinch.
* He brought me to it. He will bring me through it.*

Have a great day Everyone. Do something special to day.
Always,Hope

A goof off day

Early this morning I was listening to the rain. I think I have been napping this week before my grandbaby visits so when I do that I do
not sleep good at night.
I tossed and turned and did that for a bit..Then I got up and did a few things finally at 4 am…I think I slept.
I didn’t do much goofed off till my Daughter stopped over late this afternoon.
I didn’t even cook. I had left overs in the fridge good ones I might add. So we warmed things up and had dinner.
Then we did a few things…and laughed at how funny the Wee One is now.
Oh boy she is fun. She is crawling and I mean fast. Then is walking around things and wants to hold your hands and walk around all the time.
She turns 8 months on Sunday.
She is still tiny like her mom was. I had to laugh I had forgotten how tiny her Mom was till today. I actually pulled out her baby book to. To see a few things. Sure enough she is about the same weight as her mom was.
Although I told my daughter one thing missing is the Budda Belly. She didn’t think that was to funny 🙂

Anyways I have Rehab in the morning. OH JOY!!
Last week was bad..but this week there are improvements. Thank Goodness.
My concern is my balance is off. That is something we are working on. I need help with that. But it is getting better little by little. I am trying to get past the thought of taking a fall again .So its taking a ton of pushing to get through it.
I am determined to do so.  So we will see how it goes tomorrow. I have been doing all my exercises at home faithfully so and icing . So I hope to see an improvement tomorrow.

So I am off to get some sleep and hopefully that will happen fast.
I was just looking out and there is a huge full moon. Not a single cloud in the sky. But its chilly in the 40’s and fall is in the air forsure.
Ahh I love fall..Makes me smile every year.
Always Hope

Sighs!

Despite moments of enormous joy.
Its nuts I feel so fragile at times it makes me nuts.
Like standing on uneven ground.
I avoid what I feel cause its overwhelming. Just to much to feel all at one time.
It reminds me of being of being young at the lake. Feeling the sun on my face, feeling the warm summer water.
We were young we didn’t expect the waves  they were so big.
I remember them hitting us so hard & we would fall hitting the sand.
Before you knew it you were under the water with water and sand up your nose..
knocked silly. We were to young to realize how fast the next wave would hit.
Or when it would.
We would just feel like we were on solid ground again and balance again.
Maybe that happens to all of us.

Tonight my daughter and I went to a local drug store.
Sometimes its funny but you go and you come out not getting what your looking for.
Recently a young boy name Kyle died in our community of a heroin  over dose.
We didn’t know to just recently after the mass was done.
I felt like crap as their family lived a few houses away.
Over the past few years they moved and the parents divorced a bad scene for struggling kids with problems.

Tonight we went in the drug store and I run right in to Kyles Dad.
He is a mess. and rightly so.
But what I did not know is his wife and other son are now addicts as well.
And this one reason they moved .
It was a last ditch effort for Dad to get Kyle in to a half way house for teens.
Which had…He was clean for 79 day when his mom went there did not tell his father and brought him home.

Kyle went to home of a friend and that was that. He told a his friend he did not feel well after doing some drugs.
And he died the next morning in a house where friends left him. And went out to play football.
Some friends.
Kyle was 18 just graduated high school.
And his one dream was to move from his mom house cause she was an addict get clean and move in with his Dad. Which would of happened last week.

After standing in the drug store with a weeping Dad. I took him by the hand and let him out to the parking lot and we talked for a long time.
He did everything to get this kid help. And still this what happened.
We had a long discussion. As my Daughter said who works with a group of doctors who do drug addiction medicine.
He was off the drug and if he did it again..and did to much he problay died of a massive heart problems had the people he was with gave a dam he might have lived if he got to the ER in time.
Sad state of affairs.

I am sad for his father tonight. The other kids are with the mom and not making wise choices.
Of course being an addict she isn’t in the right frame of mind either.
So this makes matters worse.

This was family that we were on sports teams with my kids went to school with these kids.
So to hear all of this it blew my mind.

As for Kyle I want to remember him as the red haired boy with a socceer ball and socks to big.
Its sad when you here someone is on drugs but to hear not one single person that claimed to be his friends…cared enough.
Thats just sad..Such a waste of a life.

Anyway..Hug your kids tonight and make sure you there for them.
I know I did mine.

I hate waves..specially the big rolling ones that kick you down and you can’t breathe
I wish Kyle’s, dad peace, cause my prayers are sure with him.
As he fights through this.
RIP
Kyle.

I am off for some much needed rest.
Always Hope

Courage and Hope

*Being deeply loved by
someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives
you courage.*
Lao Tzu

Photographs and Life

I have tinkered with the thought of closing down this blog.
I thought about it a lot .
But being true to me..I can’t do it.
This blog has become a part of who i am. Its funny. I am not the best writer but I love to write as much as love photography.
ITs empowered me in so many ways I never imagined. I gotta say its not easy to walk away from.
It some ways its given me a voice , and allowed me to spread awareness that I never thought was possible.
Frankly thats not easy to walk away from.
I remember when I first started writing here, I wasn’t going to talk about some things pertaining to my life and then it evolved it to so much more then ever expected. Amazingly my heart and soul is buried deep in the words written here.
Something happened here my writing changed, my voice became stronger , and I have grown as a photographer and artist.
I thought a new blog..or space. but then it just didn’t seem fair.
So much time and effort went in to whats here and passion a times. I think Wow I really wrote that.
I want a place where I am real not a place of popularity.
A place where people here listen and then take something with them.

Today I realized Club Sammich Cafe came from deeply rooted lunch converstation durning some pretty emotionally charged times.
But when I think back it all started cause i wanted to share it with the world and that I have.
I wanted one place to write about things no one talks about.
With it came a huge voice. I never realized just how huge it might become.

With me many things start tiny and end up wonderfully huge.
29 years ago I met my Husband taking a photograph for a college course in black and white photography
When i think about it one split second changes my life .
Some say that and joke around
But I mean that.
One photograph just one altered my life. 
That still amazes me til this day that we were in the right place at the right time and here we are today.

Anyways I won’t be closing this space just changing some things.
I am not the best writer but the fact remains I love to write and i love to take pictures.

Today my husband I went to the lake and sat there for some time. We took our camera’s out there and just sat.
I realized that life is a series of changes, and what it offers us is amazing.
Life is never perfect thats one thing I learned.
But this was close to it. This was one day that we didn’t talk about sickness, and those things.

It was funny I hobbled back minus my cane to the van to grab my digital. And my Husband snapped my picture on the way back.
I wanted to slap him but I didn’t.  He just laughed.
Just for once in a really long time. I feel like me again.
Its hard to explain it, but its a good feeling.
I could hear the rusling of leaves and the waves rolling.
The gentle breeze of the Indian Summer and warmth of the sun.
I love you’s from those we love.
Thats as good as it gets.

Always Hope.

P.s Michigan Light The Night Walk was big. $580.000 was raised in Michigan alone.
Being a part of it was simply and utterly amazing.
So we can make a difference…one person at a time.
Relentless For A Cure!

Day Three hmmm.

Hmmm!
Yesterday I woke up with spasms in the hamstring..and a sore knee.
So I was not looking forward to rehab this morning.
But I sucked it up and went anyways.
We did a few things and then he did the ultra sound therapy.
He told me to come home and ice the this and rest it.
Then if its not better in the morning call the orthopedic back.
He is thinking rest and ice will do the trick.
My ankle isn’t to bad..in fact..less pain and not waking up for pain meds during the night. So thats a huge plus.

Something I noticed…Walking in the door of rehab freaks me out. I have no idea way but it does.
I break out in a cold sweat and just got butterflies in my gut.
ITs not a fun process to go through. but this is so wierd.
I did chemo radiation and all of those things minus this feeling…Guess this goes along with working through pain. Not sure.
But this is really bugging me and I am not a whimp! Its so not like me.
I am disappointed in that!!

I got a talk on you can’t push through pain for one thing while another is happening not at this point.
But I am not a happy camper …and I don’t want him thinking I am a slacker either UGH!!
So yup I am not a happy camper today.
I want to get on with this and get it done with .
But its a slow process and that is something I need to adjust to I guess!!
I am not a normal person…nor is my body normal not with all the other things.
So its a high anxiety thing and I am working on changing my mindset.

Any ideas would be great!!!

Anyways off to spend the day with the Grandbaby..She is so dang cute.
Everything is new to her right now. She is sitting and pulling up on the furniture.
A really happy little girl most of the time. Smiling and jabbering up a storm.
What a blessing we have been given in her!!
Kinda nippy here and looking like rain.
The leaves are starting to change and the nights are cooler.
Fall is in the air no doubt about it.
October is my favorite month. I love Halloween and the kids excitement about it.
I love all the decorations popping up everywhere but not the candy.
I am trying to shed a few pounds so staying outta the candy isle lol

I gotta run. Have a great day everyone….Always Hope

LIfe in general

Tuesday went okay. We had the Baby part of the day. We ended up taking her with us to the cardiologist.
Oh joy. I was exhausted.
Then we met up with my Daughter and she picked her up. Which was good , since we had to take Mom back to get a ultrasound doppler test done on her neck. Which the cardiologist did sound right..so that was something they had to check out.
However her blood levels all were okay. But one.
So she is scheduled for a Echo and Nuclear STress Test on the 24 of the month.
She had a biopsy today of this rash that will not go away. After a round of predisone and a shot. And lotion from the skin specialist so they want to know exactly what it is. This the only way to find out.
So she went today alone..and we were not happy about that as she isn’t suppose to be driving. But she is like that will do just as she pleases till
there is a problem.
So its been a week.
Yesterday I went for the second rehab appointment. IT was not a easy thing at all. Its a weight bearing joint so it will take time.
I did okay till the last set excercises and that was that the pain hit . I was nauseated and had to sit down. I realized I can’t push so hard.
The therapist was great saying hey you did good…just don’t worry about it. Better you say so and stop then injure it worse and hurt for longer.
So we learned somethings about each other. He also said that I might of been better off had I broke it verses what I did. 
So it was rough. I came home exhausted iced and took a long nap.
I hate feeling like that but he was right I did what I could and if it was the best then its okay.
So its rough thats when cancer hits me in the rear..it sneaks up and reminds me that i am different then most around there.
However I refuse to get discouraged. I was watching one guy in there and was amazed by his story.
So that helped modivate me for next week.
So we pretty much haven’t done a whole lot due to how I have been feeling in between things.
I have been icing and doing all i can to heal.
Can’t do any more then that.

Tonight I took my daughter and wee one home it was a bit nippy out there.48 to be exact. I had to turn on the heat today.
Threw the comforter on the bed. and got out the sweaters its been chilly.
After that heat wave the beginning of the week.
The leaves are changing a bit.
But not much but fall is in the air.
Hoping to get one more bon fire in  before its over.
Hope to get the house fixed up for Halloween tomorrow.
Any how I am off for some sleep.
Have some things to do in the morning.
Hugs and Prayers Hope

UGH!! Anyone want a Big Mac

IF this the sandwich generation that we are looking at a Big Mac!!
Omg!!
Just a update. Last Wednesday I was able to finally ditch the cast. YAY!!
I am stuck with a lace up brace called a Swed-o.
I am gearing up for 6 to 8 weeks of Rehab.
Fun Fun Fun!!
What am I saying not fun!!
Frankly I am worried about it. I know done worse then this but I still have lots of pain in my foot the fracture looks good.
But there is lots of soft tissue , ligament and tendon stuff to deal with . So will have to work through it to get it done.
Then there is the issue Mom Appointments. and Making sure the Grandbaby is taken care of as well.
Frankly the Baby is a peach…to deal with.
The Mom issue well that is a never ending thing. I love her to death.
Today she woke us up early again. All because she got a letter that the hospital billed medicare not the workmans comp for her fall in June. She doesn’t have a touch tone phone to deal with it.
So I mentioned we can got through billing as we see the Cadiologist at the hospital in the morning and talk directly to billing in person. She was like why did I not think of that. She was so upset.
So that got straight to a point. Then it was I can’t drive tomorrow to get there. However she drove to church yesterday alone. So I think she is just frustrated as she has always been healthy till this point.
So we will pack up the Baby go get her and go with her to the appointment.
Mine you I am trying to figure out Rehab between all her appointments and all of this.
Not complaining its just going to be interesting.
Then I call the place where we would normally go and its not changed to a different hospital . Oh joy!!
Which sends us in a different direction so I am covered for the total rehab.
So not sure how this week is going to go. Or next week as Mom has all these revisted to do.
Maybe we will get lucky and we are on a upswing at this point.
One could hope.
But I feel like the middle bun of a Big Mac!!
Sandwiched in there nice and tight!

Put up some new pictures. Enjoy!!
We hit record heat here in Michigan…at 92 degrees today. HOT!!
Seems weird for October and the trees are not changed yet here.
Any who I am off to ice and get some much needed rest for tomorrow.
Know we will be needing it.
Hugs and Prayers
Hope

This so true

*Slow down enjoy life.  Its not only the scenery you miss by going to fast, you also miss
the sense of where your going and why.*
Eddie Cantor

Boy this is one quote that hits home. Life is so fast these days if you don’t slow down you will miss it all.
Sometimes I wonder how people can just be moving so fast in the world. Seems no on sees much now a days.
When they do they walk or drive right past it. Its like it doesn’t commute.

In my travels these days..I have been slowed down big time by this fractured ankle..and things going on around me.
Its easy to see and watch others faces.  But its weird its like some look right past you and are obivious to others standing right there with them. 
I guess maybe I was brought up to see others. As well as to care for them. I can’t walk past people that need attention.

But then as a photographer and a artist I can’t ignore anything around me either. Something just draws me in, to open my eyes and see. It makes me slow down and look.

As for where I am going. I think life leads us on a merry chase…but it does it to just make us see.
Are we moving to fast…that we forget where we are going and why?

Maybe I am just different. Maybe its the artist in me to See. I don’t mean just seeing the visual but feeling it to.
I am leaving a picture today…and its visual but a spiritual.
Something I couldn’t pass up…something seen with the heart.

Hugs and prayers always Hope

Always Hope with Friends.

Sometimes it timing is everything. Lately I have had a few great friend and made a few new ones that are just great.
There timing is perfect at this point in my life. Thats all I can say. It makes me smile that they think so much of me
to put my story out there to give others hope in their fight.
Some would say that the Walk why talk about it here. Why push the donation thing?
Well its not about that..its about the kindness extended and the sacrafices people make for patients, survivors and those
out there caring for the caregivers. What they give to us…well it never goes unnoticed. Not with me anyways.
So to my friends those who know me well and just have fought through this with me Thank You from the bottom of my
heart you know who you are!! To those who just joined me and cared enough to kick in and get me to my goal. Thanks!!
That is a pay it forward thing. It makes me look towards the goal for next years Walk. And to consider mentoring for TNT.
It is us survivors that can make a difference in the life of others.

Hugs and Prayers  always Hope.