Life style changes

I have really been watching what I eat this year .That’s resulted in a nice weight loss.
In August of 2007 as some know I took a good fall down the basement steps. I gotta tell you that was not a good thing at all.
After a long road back,rehab and pt. After 20 weeks I was back on my feet. But sent back for another 4 weeks.
So that said. It was kind of a life altering experience. In that no one does the work for you. Its all you and the people from pt and rehab are just there to get you to a better place. Its grueling work and not pain free along the way.
Anyways I still have some things I am working through and I was told to stay active or risk issues with the foot& ankle
So I continue daily to do some of the things I did in therapy.

Today I started back on the Walk the Walk.  Its a great video that in the winter months you can walk in your own home. Great Cardio and helps motivates me to keep healthy.  Today I managed 1 mile! Wooo Hoo!

One thing I have learned that walking  is a wonderful tool..to walk of tension and day to day stress. But in Michigan in the cold weather its hard to find a good place to walk.  Where there isn’t a bunch of people. Or your walking at their pace not your own.
So this works for me..and beats meds for stress and anxiety as well. Plus beats meds and is good for your brain and heart.

So working to show my doctor a thing or to. He thinks I made it though cancer and I am here. So basically that’s a good thing. HAH. So I am  down 22 lbs and thats positive.  I felt sluggish and I am tired of that. So its back to my old ways…Walking the walk and pilates three times a week…Its proven to work for me . So lets show them!
Anyways with watching my grandbaby to that will give me the energy I need to. Can’t sit and get it..Got work to get it.
So heres to a healthier me! 
I’m off for a glass of O.J…Have a great weekend.
Hugs and Prayers Hope

I Love Thanksgiving

Oh I love Thanksgiving!
But should we not be thankful and grateful daily?
This morning I was thinking about all those who fixed, as well as cared enough to share the day of fellowship and great meals with our family.
We have thought fondly of those who lovingly prepared nourishment to our bodies and souls.
We realize today that they fed us emotionally, physically and spiritually  by their support in our lifes.
We are truly blessed our family in so many ways.
Thanks so much for your thoughts and support given here.
Wishing you and yours,
many blessings this
Holiday Weekend.

Hugs and Prayers Always Hope

Processing Through

Lately I haven’t felt like writing. Well that’s not totally true. I do but there is so much in my head that I feel like I am swimming though muk at times.
Its funny you think your done with cancer. Oh yeah you do. Then something happens and it hits you like a speeding train.
Your never ready for it it just slams you and the feelings come out you can’t stop them. You just have to go through them to get to a better place.
Your scared and the scarred and those scars though they lighten in time…Sometimes they hit hard and furious and the emotion that comes with them is beyond what we can handle.
Lately I am processing through a lot of the head and neck issues. With so many things on top of it. Life in general has me swamped.
That’s when I really need to stop regroup and then its okay. But lately no time to do so. I feel just stuck in the processing.
I feel so grateful for so many things. I really do.
But then it broadsides me the fatigue and it sends me crashing like ocean waves in a storm.
Or someone we love gets sick and I just can’t deal with it.  Its just so overwhelming at times.

Today I was over the edge. Someone said I was one of the stongest people they knew.  I was thinking if you only knew. If you only felt what I feel at times you might change your thinking.
I don’t feel strong right now. I feel ticked off and stuck in the process of daily bs and living.

I also know some think its over and its done with ..with being stable and in remission. Its not its never over, just different. There is greiving and processing that happens in daily life. Things you can do things you can’t and things that might never happen. The sad thing is its true in life minus sickness to. But with sickness comes a whole lot more then ever possible and going with the flow is a slower pace to get through it.

So I am processing though…I wish I had to words sometimes to write it all here. But i also know its a not a stage thats happening with me as some think. Its truely something that is really happening that is slow and almost earth shattering at times. I just hate it.

Something set me back…in so many ways. 50 yrs ago Oct my Brother was tragically hit and killed by a car. . A horrible death for a seven year old boy. I was a small kid. But I was there.when the news came to my Mom.Our life changed that day as a family . Our lives changed as kids. I never felt like a kid. Over the years I have processed through periods of grief in ebbs. But how it affected me was life altering for me.  I won’t lie the death of a sibling is horrible I don’t care what age you are.
You carry it with you . But you are when your never allowed to talk about it . It to leaves scars and changes you.
Over the years so much has been said and not said.
So this October which is my month of my cancer dx. to. And many other things. I recieved in the mail a chuch paper from my Parents with a memorial service for my Brother. Mind you over the years its never been done..or talked about .
In this church paper I am still listed on the prayer list due to my health not a bad thing.
Just Reading about the Memorial Service was crushing. IT blew me away.
It had me calling my friend who is a social worker for support through the processing it brought my way.
It wasn’t pretty.  I had already gone to the graveside the day before and it was all that I could handle.
I realized one thing is that no matter what there is always going to be a level of grieving in this loss.
No matter what happens, in life that sibiling will always be there in your memory no matter what.
Processing just happens, and the levels of it are grueling at times.
No book on coping and we all do it differently. Amazing how that works.
Thanksgiving is coming and that to brings processing..amazing what it brings. But i am learning and realizing with hardships come amazing grace in so many forms.  So thats life kinda. Wading though to a better place. I will get there again. Just taking the scenic route.

Tonight I am thankful for my Husband ,Kids, and Grand daughter.  I am thankful for our Parents and all our Siblings as well as their families
We are so richly blessed by those in our life.
Everything else is secondary.
Have a great Holiday Week
Hugs and Prayers Hope

Thank You Michigan

Michigan Walkers Raise $500,000 while Lighting The Night.

This is huge support for those dealing with blood cancer and their families.   In tough economic time such as ours this is a huge effort in behalf of many! Thank you Michigan for your support for those of us dealing with Blood Cancer daily!!
                                                                         

Just some thoughts

Some times I sit here and wonder what to write about. I realized that I started this blog in November of 2005 so I guess this my blogs anniversary, I missed by a few days. Still I can’t believe I have had this space for this long
The other thing today is also the date of my first chemo treatment back in 1997. I am really grateful to still be here. When all is said and done that’s what we fight here to get to the point of stable. Live goes on even with cancer in it, Thank goodness for that.  We have come a long way on this journey. Although everyone things we are back to normal. I just don’t think that happens. Your life is totally altered and working to get it back is the hard part…creating a new norm for me, and us. Is something we have done…So that said…
I wanted to share this. I don’t know who wrote it. I looked and looked for a name. But its so very true…about how life is. Have a great day.
Always Hope

BUTTERFLY

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening
appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it
struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to
stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it
could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that,
at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support
the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was
able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that
the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to
get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the
body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for
flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God
allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would
cripple us.

We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

I asked for Strength………
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom………
And God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity………
And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage………
And God gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love………
And God gave me Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favors………
And God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted ……..
I received everything I needed!

Trust in God. Always !

Sharing some joy.

Click on the the below link and enjoy.

Something I Watched Today

Hope its great day. Always Hope

Get out and excercise your right to vote.

Get Out And Vote!!
I really don’t care what your choice or who. Its a personal choice only we can make.
I went early and did a absentee ballot.
I stood there and realized how many people couldn’t get out for whatever the reason and vote. Or might not be around our state to vote today.
The other thing in this world we live in think of all those that don’t have the freedom we do. Or the right vote in this world today.
The right to vote is one we here don’t think of to often.

Have a great day everyone!
Always Hope