Caregiving

This is tough. My Mother in Law has been very ill the past few weeks. So our time has been taken up with making sure she is okay.
For me its hard watching my husband struggle to take care of her. We both love her silly. But when I was sick she was not the nicest person. So thats tough when your the ones that make the choice to do the job that needs doing cause your here and no one else is.
Its like that on both sides of this family. So that means we are spreading ourselves thin to make sure this family is taken care of lately.

I am pooped and I know Hubby is to. I have been so strung out today emotion wise ..Here I am sitting here typing at 1:45 cause I couldn’t sleep. Go figure.

I know that MIL is up problay due to predisone given to her. And she has 4 more days to taper the dose down. She said to me today..How in the hell did you do this on a regular basis with chemo. I kinda joked with her..Telling here some funny stories about it. But I do know it really bugged her and she said if I could do it so could she.

So its getting past many hurdles for here..first a drug allergy shutting down her kidneys and knocking the heck outta her and her whole system and including her motor skills. Not being able to walk outta the hospital. Then a walker and cane. Then just ododdles of hurdles then a rash and break down of her skin due the drug interaction given to her that started this only landslide out. We got a call to say her cardiac enzymes are off and she needs to see a cardiologist.

She was upset. I had to do some fast talking and teaching her the skill of  *One Day At A Time!*  So that was todays big deal.

We got her all straightened out and she was okay . So we came home for the evening. Spent time with the kids and our grandbaby.

The we just sat here and regrouped some. Then a friend and his wife was here from Indiana. that was a blessing it broke things up for us a bit. We really needed a break.

So I had better head off and get some rest. I think I might finally sleep.

I will be dumping some albums and working on things here if MSN will allow it. I have had lots of trouble lately doing much of anything and traveling to other spaces and leaving comments as well . What a hassle at times!!!!

Anyways I am off….Hugs and Prayers Hope

Running With Scissors!

*Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it*
Jules Renard. 1890

This past Friday was the Light The Night Walk. Everyone was like your not walking are you??
Not with a walking cast on. Well folks..I have lived with lymphoma a long time and thats the way I see it.
So its like this..I did walk the 2.5 miles and would do it again in heartbeat. Thats how firm I am in seeing awareness for this disease.
Someone said I was nuts.
Whatever!!
But to the survivors out there it was one of those thumbs up experience, a suck it up drive on thing.

Having lived life in such a different way its just twisted the way I see things.

Inquire Within.

Tumor humor maybe!!

See when think about it..as I looked around at all the people at the walk and the reason they were there. I was walking no doubt about it. I am a rarity folks one who survived for this long.
I kept seeing tags in MEMORY OF. That made me sad.
I know all to well just how hard that is..Been there.

But to not walk over a small thing…how could I.
So I did slowly but surely with a bit of pain not in the ankle at all but from lugging the dam cast !!I did it. But my days are never pain free anyways. So I just dug deeply ,a just do it situation.

My title says it all tonight.
I have so many mixed emotions right now. That yesterday we took a no cancer day. And simply didn’t discuss it.
This isn’t about just me…but a whole family dealing with so many issues that its insane at times.
Yesterday was 10 yrs after the fact..and a good day not to discuss the garbage that we all feel.
Kids did what they wanted and that is great.
Hubby and I celebrated our 29th anniversary we went out to eat and to the lake to a place called Jacks. Its a
bar and grill that sits in a marina.
We had a great night.
There was so much to celebrate, but in my head..I am struggling to find even ground on coping with daily issues that are hitting me like bricks lately.
Thats hard to explain to the normal population..and I can’t expect them to understand it either or should I?

Some how the words just sadly seem lost lately.

Always Hope